Something has been on my mind and I feel the need to get it off my chest.
After my daughter was born in 2011, she was the only thing I could think about. I refused to listen to any of my favorite songs or watch movies that were inappropriate. I also lost myself as a person.
What do you mean you lost yourself?
I lost myself! I was a little obsessed about my daughter and trying to be SUPERMOM/Martha Stewart wanna be the day after I brought her home. I lost track of time and not to mention a part of my mind. Eventually this lead to me loosing friends and put a stress on my marriage. Even though I was/am a stay at home mom, I felt so lonely that I started blaming some of my personal struggles on my husband. He was working overtime and I was afraid to leave my child three feet away from me. I even had moments being so depressed and thinking I would be better off being single because it would be the same thing as him not being home. This was NOT true, he worked to keep a roof over our head, food in our tummies, and be the man of the household. I am thankful that I did not need to go back to work.
Tips: bath time: Daddy time. Just because he did not carry the child for nine months does not mean he is going to drown his child! If you are nervous - stand behind daddy with a towel or rubber duck and enjoy these moments. They do not last long.
My husband got a job which required us moving. I felt fresh in a new town and made even more plans for myself thinking it would make things better. I joined a momma group and learned five lessons.
1. GET OUT! All babies cut teeth which equals to fussy and sometimes screaming babies. This does not make you a bad mother for being outside of your home! I should have attended more play-dates.
2. RELAX! I was tensed up and trying to be on my best. It's not about age the defines who we are. It's our minds. Also I struggled loosing my baby weight, but I also had many insecurities over my postpartum body.
3. SPEAK UP! If you need to say or ask a question, shoot. A group is to be there for one another. The only questions I ended up asking or talking about was about my daughter.
4. LOVE! Don't forget about your marriage. Even if you don't have the money to go on dates. Remember that marriages last longer if you kiss at least twice a day. One in the morning and one at night before bed. Never go to bed angry. Yes, most have heard these "back in the day." If arguments are starting - let the argument finish. The reason being is more than likely there is something else bothering you than the toilet seat being up! Also, hold hands in the car. It's the little tiny things that make it all worth a while. I'm going to go ahead and say it. SEX. Sex is a main key to a marriage. Even if you don't want more children. You still need to remember why you married your husband in the first place.
5. SEARCH! Find yourself and remember her. If you don't love yourself who will? It took a second child for me to realize that I could still be wearing red lipstick. Not to mention - I need all the help I can get in the makeup department. I am young - so without makeup I look like a fourteen year old teenager with two children. Also I forgot what it was like wearing a lacy top. Just because you are a new mom, does not mean you need to dress like your great-great grandmother.
Hope this helps!
